Back in April, I had started singing lessons with a teacher in my area, for me to build confidence and self-esteem while developing skills and enjoying myself doing something that I am naturally inclined to. I was at the time releasing old deeply anchored issues, which would, like grey clouds, darken my inner landscape at the personality level, leaving me to explore strange states of discouragement, longing and melancoly coupled with a diminished interest for my life as it was, states of mind that would come and go as unpredictably as the weather, letting the sun shine again after the rain.
On my second singing lesson, my teacher had a look at her songbook, browsing for a first song that I would work on, something ‘‘nice and easy to start with’’, as she said in French… She stopped browsing, and had a longer look at one song, which she then decided would be perfect. It was ‘My favorite things’ from The Sound of Music, sang by Julie Andrews in the film. In French, this film is interestingly called ‘La mélodie du bonheur’ (The melody of happiness). I was intrigued by that quite meaningful choice, given the sadness I was often experiencing at the time.
Little pearls of joy
I listened to a video I had found on youtube once I was back home, as I didn’t know the song very well, although it was vaguely familiar. The singer first merrily lists a few of her favorite things, from precious lovely sights to delicious comforting food, little things that fill her with joy and appreciation for life.
At a key moment of the song, it truly seemed to me like the lyrics were highlighting something meaningful for me, something to help me lift up my mood whenever I would turn sad. According to Julie Andrew’s character, it was simple: whenever she would feel sad, to stop feeling bad, she would remind herself of these little pearls of joy.
It gave me the idea to write down, like in the song, ten things that I appreciate about life, ten little things that I enjoy and add colours to my life, for me to read the next times melancholy would come knocking at the door of my mind. This would be my next spiritual ‘homework’, I thought, uplifted by the contemplation of this very idea.
All the Things I Have Yet to Do…
Four days later, I went at Simon’s, bringing along a few things for cooking at his place as well as my music sheets. He played the song on his guitar a little, then we chatted about other topics, and he told me about a fellow British man (Simon is Northern Irish) he had befriended at a pub and went on his own Facebook page to show me something that the man had written to him. I looked at the computer screen showing my friend’s page, when suddenly I noticed amongst his contacts someone with a small icon I instantly recognized… It was the exact same picture as the one from the video I listened to many times to learn my song, a picture portraying Julie Andrews, from the Sound of Music, singing arms wide open in a merry mountain landscape…Now, that I would see this picture again, especially so shortly after having just practiced the song and having seen it with Simon on the video did draw my attention! He explained that it was the new profile picture of one of his sisters.
On the picture was written a message that felt very meaningful to me, answering again to the melancholic disinterest I would plunge in from time to time: ‘‘Look at all the things I have to do… And I haven’t even started!’’ As I wrote to my friend Jonathan in French, telling him by email this anecdote: ‘‘It reminds me of all the projects and dreams that I hold dear, and how there are still many things ahead of me, still much to accomplish and experience…’’ It was something for me to hold on to, something reminding me that I could create my reality, like a work of art, adding colors here, starting over there. The canvas I was working on still had a lot of potential, which I could always tap into.
Ten of my Favorite Things
A few days later, I made my list of little things that make me smile and that I appreciate about my life, ten little pearls of joy…
(translation)
1. the sun bathing the round chair of the living room; offering myself a bath of light in it
2. Finley and Azlan watching over me in each room (my cats)
3. little ladybugs and butterflies
4. feeling the little breeze on my cheek, or fully enveloping me; enjoying your presence
5. singing and dancing just for fun, in the evening of my living room, all lights turned off
6. listening to the rain fall, or better, to a storm on a quiet night, from my living room
7. preparing a delicious recipe with a friend; laughing, discussing, drinking wine
8. savouring a French vanilla in good company at the Tim Hortons; having a long and passionate discussion
9. writing in a spirit of freedom and joy
10. having beautiful dreams; meeting beings whom I love and who love me in these dreams
More Homework
A few days later, I thought of another ‘homework’ I could do. As a means to nurture healthy self love and see more clearly what is lovable within myself, I thought of writing down another list of ten things that I appreciate and find beautiful, but this time, about myself…and why not, when I am at it, also do the exercice about the people I love, I then thought.
And so on a sunny day, I sat down on my balcony, and started thinking about my close friend Oliver, about little things I appreciate and qualities I see within him. It filled me with joy and love to write my first four thoughts, then I wrote a fifth one: ‘‘His way of living and seeing spirituality’’, and this is when I saw a little something flying down to the floor. I first didn’t see where or what it was, until I moved my notebook that I had been holding on my lap, which allowed me to see the little visitor near my right foot… It was a ladybug! It added to my happiness, as for me, these are signs from a guiding energy and/or other benevolent energies responding to thoughts I had, letting me know I was heard, or that they are with me, drawing my attention on something I thought or encouraging me to continue in a given positive direction.
What especially amused me about this is how that day, on the balcony, while looking at the delivery trucks passing by, somehow hoping to see another one of these whose name is for me a sign from the guiding energy, with a touch of humour I said within myself that ‘‘You know, I think I actually prefer butterflies and ladybugs to trucks.’’ And it seems like I was shortly after answered with the same touch of humour, all the while being encouraged to keep trying to see, within Oliver and within others, what is beautiful about them, holding within as I do so, these feelings of love and joy that such contemplations kindle within me…
…Now I wasn’t the only one to spot the little visitor:‘‘No Finley! Don’t eat the ladybug!’’
Luckily, the adventurous little one made it safely back to wherever it was from!
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blanc poème 